Much good stuff!!

There will be plenty to blog about soon , the Dantes extravaganza , the OUT FREAKIN' RAGEROUS Red Dress Party , how "Crazy Enough " is coming along etc.... but first and foremost : HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVEY!!!! You are my love of loves and I'm so lucky not only to be by your side (and on/under you sometimes...) , and not only to play music with your badass self , but just to know you . You are a brilliant talent and one of Gods little night lights for sure . I love you , you sweet fuck . xoxoStorm posted by Storm at 02:01 on 04/18/08

Yo HO !

So this Friday we are back at our beloved Dante's for a reunion of sorts with our peeps on Burnside and SW3rd . We are playing with Mike D and Kleveland . Doors , I imagine are around 8 . I am so excited to shake off the Winter and perform again , I haven't stepped out with my Balls since December . It is soooo time for a show . I've been just writing everyday , which is great and all , but I don't want to be creeping around inside my own scull for too long with out being able to , once in awhile , get up and freak out in front of 500 strangers . So thank God for Friday ! Saturday is the Red Dress Party , and THAT too will be cool. In case you are not hip to the deal , it is a gi-normous benefit for aids related research and charities . The catch is , all party goers wear red dresses , boys and girls alike ... which brings me to my quick question : Does anybody know where I can find a red cowboy hat for Jimmy Jamms Beaton ? He needs to complete the look he's got going , which is a somewhat fuzzy Annie Oakly . Don't all go out and get one , just direct me , if you will, to a where one can be found and we'll get it . All that aside , this weekend is supposedly going to have gorgeous weather , and two heaping helpings of BALLS . Ah , Spring ... here you come at last you elusive bitch . See you out there , xoxoStorm posted by Storm at 09:49 on 04/09/08

HOME=SICK.

I was SO glad to get home last week . Been gone two months , was totally homesick ... the kind of homesick where that last hour on the plane is the most desperate crawl of slow ticking eternity. I had a sore throat and was very tired and just wanted to get into bed with my Davey , show him how much I missed him .... then show him again... ( I REALLY missed him...)then sleep in the sweetsoft embrace of home sweet home . Finally able to relax , my body went into full meltdown mode and the flu got me . The flu .... how common . I only get it every couple of years , so I suppose because I enjoy such great health most of the time , when I DO finally succumb , I get the BIG ONE , the one that kills babies and old people ... the one that goes up to 11 . Right now , my bones feel like bashed up hockey sticks , my face is a grayish horror mask , my esophagus feels like I ate a big crunchy bag of glass , and , once in awhile , I kick into a coughing fit that sets my lungs on fire . And , for good measure , if I am unsuccessful in hacking up the chunky dark planks of phlegm that come in shocking sizes and colors .... I puke . I have never been sexier . I sometimes can sing when I'm ill , but with this , what little sound comes out sounds like a bag of toucans being pushed into a wood chipper . Not pretty . So I've had to cancel a handfull of appearances and meetings this week and am resigned to soaking my blankets with stinking fever sweat and exploring the endless duh of cable television while I wallow in self pity . I don't know about you , but when I'm sick , I feel useless , pathetic and SO sorry for myself I can barely do anything . But this week marks the one year countdown to the craziest endeavor of my career to date . In a mad , overly caffeinated fit of bravado , I agreed to write and produce an autobiographical one woman show for Portland Center Stage . I thought " Sure! I'm a walking one woman show ... I've been doing it for YEARS .... piece o cake ... right ? " Well , as soon as I agreed to it , I basically fell into random fits of panic and hair pulling on myself moaning " WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS ?????!!!! I HAVE TO BE NUTS!!!! " It's one thing to rock out and run my mouth in front of 800 people at a Balls show , but to captivate an intimate crowd of 160 THEATER people , 8 shows a week , telling old scary truths about MYSELF ?! Not the big fearless sex thug rantings of a rock banshee , but the decidedly UNcool and at times sad story about a lonely kid trying to find her way to herself , by herself , through many missteps , mishaps , fuck ups and freak outs . The idea simply terrifies me and I have actually lost some sleep over it . A good friend of mine told me once ( and reminds me often ) if something scares the shit out of you artistically , that is EXACTLY what you should be doing . It's why, I imagine , I ultimately agreed to do this . I was going to call it "Big , Fat , Crazy , Bitch Whore ." But later decided on the simpler , and more theater friendly , "Crazy Enough" . It isn't going to be my life's story , but it will be stories from my life that bring me to present day . I'm a singer , first and foremost , and I absolutely credit music with saving my life , so there will be plenty of music ... mine and others . Knowing me , there will be inevitable tangents , rife with explicative filled rants , truths and opinions .... and what else ? I haven't the slightest . I'm just now barely well enough to write this . I'm still terrified , and I still think I'm nuts ... but here goes . See you out there . xoxoStorm posted by Storm at 09:47 on 03/03/08

Cabaret turns 100 ?

Today is our 100th show . Geez . It seems like only yesterday I was apologizing to all the gay boys I had to make out with for being an icky girl . ( I have since learned that a lot of gay men , and I mean A LOT , are still boob crazy ... umm ... well ... MEN . They might be thinking about Davey when kissing me , but hot diggetty damn , they sure know their way around a girl ! I love my job .) Aaaaaanyway .... We're at the 100th show and the final week here in Rochester . It's bittersweet because I want to go home now .... I'm kind of more than ready to start the next gig , but I love this show and all my kit kat cohorts . A few are headed back to Portland , but most of them are New York bound . I'm going to miss seeing, smooching , smacking and laughing with Wade , Romain , Amy , Gretchen , The Red Karen , Emily , Pilar , Kristen , Scotty , Buddy , Tim and Tommy , Randy-Marie , Chrisse and Richard ...and the behind the scenes beauties Nick and Steph . Not to mention the crew of sweeties running things backstage . Leah , Becky , Megan , Karin , Caroline , KB , my sweet Ian , Aaron , Nate ... and the ridiculously hot spot light operators ... Oh , sweet sorrow , this impending goodbye . The kind you wanna come up with a very clever and poignant gesture to really let em' know what they all meant to me . But I know we will all just get kinda buzzed and say , " Dude .... you know what ...? I .... yeah , you know ." and hug eachother . Which is still fine . The time has screamed by . I am headed to NYC afterwards to see some friends , eat some REAL New York Italian , Jewish and Chinese food ! ( I miss the die hard NY authentic fill in the ethnic blank cuisine ... MMmmmmmmm!!!) then head back to my Davey and my beautiful Portland . I can't wait . Until the next adventure , see you out there . xoxoStormer posted by Storm at 07:46 on 02/13/08

5 weeks!

I've been in New York for about 5 weeks now . Beyond missing home , my love , my friends and my wet walks through Mt. Tabor ... I've been loving getting back on stage as Sally Bowles with these wonderful people . I get to cuddle naked with Wade McCullem every dang day and smack smokin' hot Kit Kat girls on their ripe , bouncy butts at random . My life rules . Period . I've also been loving my quick spit of solitude , my own place to entertain the voices in my head or to just be quiet . I've also really enjoyed geeking out on all the primaries .... OH MY GOD WHO ARE YOU VOTING FOR ??? Everyone is so interesting on both sides . Except Mitt Romney . He , and his hair , bore the shit out of me . He won't make it past Johnny McCain . No way . Yeah yeah .... to all my liberal fans who hate all things republican ... you will hate me for liking McCain . Whatever . He's a crabby bastard but I like him as a person, I always have . Sadly I won't vote for him , but dammit I like him . Huckabee cracked me up a few times too . For a scary born again dude ... he's got a pretty deep sense of humor , he's a darn good speaker to boot . Romney is a straight up , phoney baloney douche bag . Ugh . He won't get the nod from the GOP . I'm still on the fence about Clinton or Obama . There's a whole lot I like about both . I'm leaning towards Barack ... not totally sold yet , just leaning . BUT HOW AWESOME IS THIS WHOLE THING THOUGH ?? JEEZ !!!I love it . It is easily , by far , the most exciting election in generations . How cool is it we get to see this in our lifetime ?! Gotta watch the debates now and get rested up for tomorrow . MY DAVEY IS COMING TO SEE ME !!! I can't wait . Yes , it might make me even MORE homesick , but sleeping with my naked belly against his , just for one night ... will be such a sweet escape . Bring the pain of him leaving again , it's worth it . Hang in there , everyone . Let's check in again after super Tuesday . xoxoStorm posted by Storm at 09:39 on 01/31/08

Rochester Yo!

We opened the show last week after a week of grueling 12 hour rehearsals ... but it seems folks out here are digging us . I try to avoid reading reviews until after the run , but it's hard when my mailbox , myspace and message boards are crammed with them . Thank heavens their all pretty good so far . Rochester is OK so far . Everyone's been cool to super cool with the out of towners . Also , I've been here two weeks and haven't froze to death yet . Yes it gets nipply , but I was wincing at the predictions from those in the know ...that , yes , your tears , boogers and lips freeze and your bits start turning black and falling off you in chunks and you can die . So far the only chunk missing is one from my heart that's in Portland {sigh} . For those of you coming out on the ninth , there will be a quickie meet and greet afterwards ... details to come soon . Stay tuned . See you out there! xoxoStormer posted by Storm at 08:23 on 01/16/08

Wow.

I know Davey beat me to it , but wow . Just wow . I can't thank or praise everyone enough for putting on such a magical show . Mr. Mayor , Sam Adams, who was a total singing virgin before we put our dirty paws on him , China , who I cannot praise enough for being one of God's little night lights here on Earth and a total pro ...( and totally beautiful , shiny and sweet smelling .. we heart her !), Jordan , for rocking a song she barely knew with guts and style not to mention mad chops . My most hot friends , Steph and Morgan from Kleveland , to be any hotter would create an environmental catastrophe . Saucy bitches ! Courtenay from Live Wire! , to whom I bow in awe of her wit and forthright intelligence .. I almost kinda hate her for being so damn funny ... not to mention her Faces for Radio players who rounded out the evening with their hilarity . Darcelle . One word . Legendary . I don't care who saw me crying while she read "T'was The Night Before Christmas" , I told you I was a dork about the Holidays ... well , I'm here to tell you , Darcelle brought all of that Christmas magic all wrapped in resplendent green sequins and delivered it with loving hand spiked with ghetto fabulous pressed on hooker red nails . God Bless Us Every One . Hell Fuckin' YEAH! I'm leaving in two weeks for my second run of Cabaret , so I may go AWOL for a bit . I wanna have some time focusing on Davey and Case and home and Christmas before I'm gone for two months . Thanks to all have been there with your loving selves . Merry Christmas , and much magic to you in the new year ! See you out there ! xoxoStorm posted by Storm at 01:07 on 12/17/07

Practice ,practice ,practice.

I love playing shows . I love getting dressed up , doing my makeup , getting terrified , warming up my voice , feeling like I have to poop seven or eight times before we go on . I love that terrible / wonderful feeling that I forgot something incredibly important and I'll have to wing it. I love hearing the crowd shifting and waiting , and then , when we step out into the light , the energy lurches toward us with a tangible , physical weight . And when I first step on that virgin stage , even if I've stomped across it a thousand times , I flush with heat , as if I'm about to kiss someone for the first time . I LOVE THAT SHIT !!!!! Before we get to do all that , though , We have to practice. I love practicing too , but for different reasons . It's casual , yet still serious . We laugh a lot , fuck up a lot, and have moments of brilliance that only we get to enjoy . I have , in this and many past bands , had some miraculous moments of music come out of me that blow my mind . But for the life of me , they cannot be re-created . Kind of like those old fish tales where the big one got away : "...I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS THIS FRIGGIN' BIG !!!" Bottom line , though , it's just fun to get with your friends and make a bunch of noise without the pressure of putting on a show , adhering to a schedule ... blah-blah . I dig it . Rehearsing for THIS show has been especially fun primarily because of the guests. I got to sing with Sam Adams tonight. I'm here to tell you , that guy has some brass balls on his person . He has NEVER sung in public before and is gonna riff and roll with me in front of damn near nine hundred people . He's silly , sweet and has the dreamiest eyes ... sorry . I had to say it , the future mayor is a total fox. Next up is the lovely Jordin . Portland's Teen Idol winner . She could shatter granite with her voice . You folks are in for a treat with this girl ... she's a badass , yet so humble and sweet ,it's sick. I can't tell you how excited I am to share the stage with so many killer humans ... I'm gonna have to do this variety thing again . Oh ... one last thing . I heard through the grapevine that Fox Reality had a countdown of Reality TVs 25 hottest females and I came in at number 9 ! Not bad for having not been on TV for nearly 2 years ! Thank you Mark Long and Kennedy ... I know you all had something to do with that . Thanks for your time kids! See you all out there . xoxoStorm posted by Storm at 10:19 on 12/11/07

Teeth and Balls

Teeth and Balls Bad combo of words ... sorry boys . I'm nursing an emergency root canal with vicodine and very very soft food .I'll be fine in a few days ,but for now , I feel like I ate a knife. Ouch . I hope you all have your tickets for this Thursday's (12/13) Winter Wonder Balls show at the Wonder Ballroom , they are going fast , plus I'll be on AM Northwest and Rick Emerson this week so , get on it before you miss out . This show is going to be soooo fun ! I'm doing a duet with the dreamy Sam Adams , the gorgeous China Forbes , the young and golden throated Jordin , (winner of last years Portland Teen Idol) Stephanie and Morgan Grace from Kleveland , some of those crazy kids from Faces For Radio (the crew from Live Wire ) will bring some holiday hilarity as well . Plus , a super secret guest who will knock your socks straight off . A perfect holiday show for those with a short attention span . The evening is kicked off at 7PM with a sexy set from Auditory sculpture . Come all ye mirthful ! OK ... now for a small rant . Just Out Magazine ( a great publication here in Portland ) did a sweet write-up and recommendation for Winter Wonder Balls . I am so grateful for their support , however , in the article , they said " (Storm) is out as a bisexual...." Now , no one from the magazine talked to me or asked me about my sexuality , so I'm a trifle annoyed . Had they asked me , I would have told them , just as I told "Curve" Magazine , I find sexual labels to be extremely limiting . " Straight" , "gay" or "bi" doesn't begin to describe a person , in my opinion . Something as wild and intangible as individual sexuality should not be boxed by a moniker . Some smaller minds use labels to keep their world safe and easy to understand ... some smaller minds use labels to hate and to hurt . Labels make it easy to compartmentalize the "Who" into "What". There are many who sexually identify themselves for personal , social or political reasons , and that's awesome . For Them . For me , calling me one thing absolutely rankles my enormous ego . My sexuality is on my sleeve for all the world to see . Yes , it's big , shiny and shameless , but it is only one red peg among the hundreds that glow in my Light Bright . I'm a woman , an artist , a singer , a lover , a jackass , a mother to my friends , a big fat baby when I'm hurt or sick , a cook , an animal , a brute philosopher , a nose picker , a werewolf . When forced to describe myself sexually , I say I am an opportunistic omnivore with a wide monogamous streak ... today . I stand proudly for my love of myself , men , women , trannies , couples and groups . With every lover I've ever had , the only thing I've been is myself . I love every sexy body I have ever loved .... don't fence me in . See you out there , xoxoStorm posted by Storm at 12:08 on 12/09/07

Holiday rant.

Why must we appease the perpetually offended ? The fact that there is even serious discussion about keeping Santa from Ho-Ho-ing ... a common laugh sound guffawed publicly long before hip hop and Don Imus came along ...is immeasurable stupidity . What next ? Ho downs , Ho-Hos, "Hi Ho ! Kermit Thee Frog here ? " If it's upon some insistence by a woman's group , I might seriously consider turning in my "Proud to Possess a Pussy " card . We want equality ? Then we must learn to roll . Fight for what really matters to women , better schools , health care for us and our children , stronger , longer sentences for ACTUAL sexual predators , resolving the endless expensive war that has claimed more than enough sons and daughters on both sides .....I can think of plenty of issues to get me going , not one of them is how some motherfucking Jolly Old Elf might laugh !!! Picketing the North Pole , crying foul against some imagined Kringellian offense only does harm to our ability TO fight for what matters . We look like shrill , reactionary harpies mewling for attention . We become punchlines , folks will stop taking us seriously and thus , we lose our ability to champion any real cause . For those bitching overly PC dryboxes to whom I speak ... get a fucking hobby . You do not represent me , do not presume that you do . Your insistence that HO-HO-HO is offensive and must be stopped is just as bad as those douche bags that want to take Christmas Trees out of our Holiday lexicon . Unless the tree speaks up and says " Praise Allah!" , and insists on facing east several times a day , or won't light up on Friday after sunset .... IT'S A FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE . Look , I'm not religious , but I know enough about it , that , in every monotheistic religion , God is better than us . "Better" meaning more wise , more powerful , more forgiving and WAY more loving than us . Why then , in God's name , must we perpetuate our pettiness about Him (or Her , or It ...whatever) ? Why do we have to make God out to be some petty asshole full of our own human insecurity and bullshit ? In trying to emulate , honor or celebrate God , don't you think being a big fuck face wouldn't really be the way to do it ? You celebrate in your way . Me ? I will decorate my CHRISTmas tree , send HANUKAH cards to my Jewish friends , sit my kid on Santa's lap so he can get the full blast of his HO-HO-HOing . Mostly , I will share food , drink , hugs and stories with my friends and family . That's what this time of year is really about for me , giving and sharing , loving and celebrating . If you aren't hip with that and you'd rather boycott things and make a big stink about trivialities for your ( insert non-offensive , safe reference to something nice and neutral) Holiday , have at it .... celebrate away ... sounds super fun . We all enjoy the season in different ways , so I'm not going to tell you how to or how NOT to celebrate , so long as you do the same for the rest of us . Merry Christmas xoStorm posted by Storm at 01:27 on 11/29/07

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